healingwithnita

At the restaurant:

When they delayed my order my first fast reaction was to get up and confront them. “ They cannot do this to me , oh no, not this time” , is what I kept telling myself.

I called the manager and was all set to give him a piece of my mind. The manager came to me and upfront apologised for the delay.They said there was a mix up with another order which caused the delay. Five minutes later my food was served and was also served a complimentary dish.

The delay and mix up of order was not the thing that occupied my mind while eating that time. But it was the way my body jumped to fight mode due to slight delay. After the manager apologised , I observed my posture. I was sitting almost at the edge of the seat, all set to fight.

What was it all actually about:

If I replay the scene, when food was delayed, it’s not like the manager and waiters ignored me nor did they do anything to trigger me. The delay was around 25 minutes ( not so long if you ask me where they already claimed food preparation takes 15 min).So nothing happened here which needed for me to prepare for a war. It was a simple harmless situation. Yet my body automatically took a fight posture, my nostrils flared a bit and my mind chanted, “ not this time?”.

This trigger was not from my current situation but from my past. In the past, I was wronged by people, made fun of, laughed at and mistreated in similar situations.

So when this delay occurred, my body remembered the past hurt and situation and miscalculated the delay=ignored=hurt and positioned all body parts to protect myself. Hence the change in posture and not just that tone also changed.

We think nothing can trigger us once we get away from the toxic environment or relationship. Once we start healing, we would not think of the past much and also move on with life making new memories.

In that process, the body also tries to release past traumas as you are in a safer environment now. There might be few incidents which would have scarred you deeply but forgotten over time. Something you missed to address and resolve those pain in your journey. When you slowly heal, these emotions or hurt surfaces.

It was the trigger that made me realise,

This does not mean I have not done my inner work. On the contrary, the pending deeply shoved emotions get enough space to come in front and be released since the top pile is cleared. the emotion felt safe to resurface. There is nothing to be afraid of and it’s part of the healing process.

That day I sat with that feeling and had my closure .I reassured myself that everything was in the past and it was a false trigger.

I was glad I could recognise these patterns and rewire my brain to respond appropriately.

Hope my experience helps you as well. I will keep sharing them.

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