I became more calm when I made this change in myself : The Power of positive thinking

“How could I let this happen to me? “ why didn’t I figure this out before? Am I that stupid?”

Come on, these are not my thoughts but your own words that you used today or yesterday for yourself.

How do I know it? Takes one to know one 😉.

We are subjected to thousands of thoughts on a daily basis and shockingly 80% of them are negative.

You would have read my other posts where I use these exact words to express my state of mind and would often indulge in negative self talk. link:https://healingwithnita.com/2026/06/28/its-not-your-fault-its-trauma-bond/

One negative self thought is harmless, however the repetition of these thoughts have a powerful effect on us.

These repetitive negative thoughts establish new neural network in our brain. This makes our brain to always see the worse in every situation.

I too had spiraled a lot in negative self talk when I faced challenges:

My share of negative thoughts:

After my divorce-> I am good for nothing. It was my fault, I was stupid not to see red flags. I don’t deserve love.

Missing promotions-> I am not good at work . I am not worthy of rewards.

Any Slight argument-> Oh no what have I done now? Its embarrassing! How could I avoid it.

It reached a stage where even though I received any recognition or appreciation, my mind would question it and constantly seek validation if I were worthy enough of it!

If I saw any opportunity then I would look at its risks first. Any new relationship, I would fear that it would fail.. and so on. Basically, the world was unsafe for me.

Life will be full of challenges , this cannot be altered . Only my mindset towards it could be changed.

Impact on Negative and Positive thoughts on brain

According to the work of Shad Helmstetter, the thoughts we repeatedly think can create and strengthen new neural pathways in our brain. Negative thoughts can reinforce patterns associated with the brain’s threat and alert systems, keeping us more prepared for fear, stress, or a fight-or-flight response.

On the other hand, positive and constructive thoughts can strengthen pathways that support planning, decision-making, emotional regulation, and logical reasoning.

Our thoughts have the power to influence the patterns we reinforce in our brains. So, in a way, it is up to us which pathways we choose to strengthen through the thoughts we repeat.

When I repeatedly focused on negative or threatening thoughts, I strengthened patterns associated with stress, fear and self-criticism unknowingly.

Re-wiring

I had to rewire , and get into repetitive positive thinking process. So now when ever I face any challenging situation , I pause , observe my thoughts and say “I am capable of handling this, and I am learning something new along the way.”.

My previous negative statements have also changed over years:

After my divorce-> I had the courage and strength to move out of toxic situation.

Missing promotions-> I can use this experience to understand what I need to improve and where I want to go next.

In heated situations-> I can choose my response even when I can’t control someone else’s behavior.

This has made me more relaxed. Mornings do not feel exhausted. New connections don’t scare me . Any confrontation does not give any anxiety.

Most important, when I am recognized/ rewarded , I know I deserve it and I am genuinely happy about it. No second doubts!

I just needed to be a little kinder to the person I saw in the mirror.

Keep those positive thoughts on repeat!

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