healingwithnita

It’s already 6 am and I can hear the hustle bustle of women in the kitchen on a Monday morning from neighbouring houses and mine. The so-called break on women’s day was over and women resumed their sacrosanct duty in the house.

Surprisingly, these roles were replaced by their male counterparts on women’s day where they wanted to make the women in their life feel special. It worked too. Women appreciated it and reciprocated by updating what’s app status , Instagram posts and what not to make the world know how lucky she is to get a princess treatment for one day. But what changed in 24 hours ? Why was the responsibility given back to the default gender the next day itself? Did the partners find it difficult and gave up on it in just one day? Why did nobody raise a concern? Male counterparts when asked would simply reply they are not programmed to cook, look after kids and do chores everyday.Ha!

Why is there just one day where women are honored and asked about equal rights while the rest of the year they just squirm in kitchen heat and juggle with kids and work.

Women’s day was proposed by Clara Zetkin in order to promote women’s rights and equality. One of the points which she wanted to address and resolve was gender discrimination.

She wanted to bring equality in every field , including politics. Women have come far but overlooked the discrimination they faced at the place where they are the most vulnerable — at home.

A home is supposed to be a place for comfort, safety and peace. But that definition simply is different for women. When women think of home they are reminded of the unfinished house chores, food to be cooked, kids homework etc. Just another set of loads of work to be completed after finishing her work in the office.

It’s stressful, right?

Women are trained right from her childhood to be submissive. She has to be a caretaker and a nurturer since this is what is expected by society . Women are expected to be super moms, fantastic wives, devoted daughters etc. 

Society created these labels and awarded these crowns to women, making them feel that it’s a selfless rewarding act. Believe me, it’s a self sabotaging act. These labels are mere words to force women to continue their labor. No need to run behind them ladies! It doesn’t define you.

Even today in a few parts of the world women are subjected to domestic violence. They are abused physically or verbally by her husband and in- laws, silenced when she gives her opinion, insulted when she tries to be ambitious, judged if she is childless or divorced , worse blamed for every misfortune that happens in a family. Yet women keep their lips sealed. The docile nature of women is what is expected, sculpted and appreciated by society.

No it’s not okay, this is not what is expected from women. This meek mindset is what needs to be discussed, debated and changed in women.

Today women’s day or mother’s day is just about flowers and quick status on social media.Whatever house work male counterparts do on that day is just bare minimum, they are supposed to contribute in the house everyday. Few would raise concern that I am telling women to stop doing household work , stop cooking.. etc. No—domestic duties, nurturing, cooking, and elder care are collective responsibilities, meant for both men and women . These are not just defined for women.

People have forgotten the actual meaning of women’s day. Let’s make it a ritual on women’s day to discuss these topics at home. Make it a norm to discuss how the chores are to be shared in the house among members, how women are also entitled to rest and can say no to work if tired, give their opinion in all matters and most important to let them know it’s okay if they are not perfect and there is no need to chase any title. This change would extend its impact into their work environment, while prompting future generations to reconsider and reshape norms around domestic work.

Ladies, take a step and initiate these changes in your house if you feel there is discrimination at your home. Stop living on these breadcrumbs and one day princess treatments. If you really want a woman’s day then first bring a change in your house and speak up . Every Women’s day let’s dedicate to make small changes at home. If charity begins at home then why not this .

Households are evolving where responsibility is shared and women are respected yet majority households still exists where women are considered weak and just a machine to do household work and produce babies. This narrative has to change.